2.Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Today, most
workers
in big cities tend to buy packaged food
rather than make homemade food
. While
the many simple and cheap foods and lots of menu choices are the most significant advantages of this
, not healthy preserved food
and accumulated expenses for spending are the primary disadvantages.
On the one hand, modern life requires workers
in a major city to have busier schedules than before, this
hustle life can make workers
skip their meals
and overwork from morning to midnight. For
this
reason, most workers
do not have enough time to cook for their lunch
and then
shift to buy food
. Furthermore
, this
new habit is supported by a lot of simple and cheap lunch
boxes from the canteen. In addition
, the majority of office
complexes in Jakarta have a lot of choices that most of the employees can explore and get a variety of meals
for their lunch
without getting bored. For example
, the Business District office
at Blok M is surrounded by many stands that sell different menus and beverages that support employee’s
lunches.
Fix the agreement mistake
employees’
On the other hand
, frequently buying food
from the store can affect people’s health in the future. The restaurant and food
stall might use artificial and chemical ingredients to make their meal delicious. For example
, fast food
from McDonald’s contains a lot of artificial and salt that might be dangerous to consume continuously. Moreover
, often taking away or dine-in at restaurants rather than cooking at home can also
impact our finances, it can burn our wallets. For example
, if we continuously buy food
from a restaurant near the office
for everyday lunch
, we might lack money before the next payroll.
In conclusion, workers
often buy foods outside supported by lots of variety of simple and affordable meals
near their office
, however
, it might influence people’s health in the future and affect worker’s finances if they frequently purchase restaurant food
rather than make homemade meals
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Make a clear distinction between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined. Aim to make a more impactful final statement in your conclusion to leave a lasting impression.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but you could deepen the analysis of each point for greater clarity and depth. Aim to expand on your ideas further.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but make sure to cover all parts of the question equally. The task mentions discussing the advantages and disadvantages, so balance between them should be maintained.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but to improve, aim for more comprehensive development of your points. This can be achieved by using more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Real statistics, facts, or studies can add weight to your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.