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Band 5

crime and punishment, how to stop criminals re-offending. Give your views and opinion.

#crime #punishment #criminals
Criminality has become one of the major issues in some countries. Every year,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of crime
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increases and has more variety. Many criminals are already
went
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison
 but keep coming back to do
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 bad actions or even worse than before.
This
 essay will explain why bad people keep doing that and the solutions to address
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, the laws
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 too simple for some people. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, the corruptors stole much
money
 from society but they only got punished for 2 until 5 years in jail with comfortable rooms. They already knew once they exit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
 they can corrupt
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
money
 with
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
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 amount and still get
light
Add an article
a light
the light
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 penalty. It is not fair compare to
Add an article
the condition
a condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 that happened
due to
 their crime. Authorities should reconsider punishment for corruptors because they harm
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 and society. The corruptors should get more
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
 or at least mix their rooms with
another criminals
Replace the adjective
another criminal
other criminals
show examples
,
no
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with no
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privilige
Correct your spelling
privilege
 in the
prison
.
Additionally
, many guards receive some
money
 from
Add an article
the prisoner
a prisoner
show examples
prisoner
Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
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, so
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the inmate
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inmate
Fix the agreement mistake
inmates
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 could get special
treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
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 in gaol.
For instance
, they can get some
cigarretes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 in jail because they have some
money
. It made them think there is no
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
 to live inside and outside of
prison
. To handle
this
proble
Correct your spelling
problem
, the government should do sudden investigations more often, without announcement to
head
Add an article
the head
show examples
 of
prison
Add an article
the prison
show examples
, and imposes sanctions
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the officers who
against
Add a missing verb
are against
show examples
 the rules. In conclusion, easy punishments make some criminals re-offending their
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. The responsible bureaucrats should re-arrange the laws to deter them.
Submitted by claudia.anggreacia on

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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