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Writing Samples
Band 6

The title "I had to show courage." Describe a circumstance where you had to exercise courage. What action of yours required a lot of bravery? Afterwards, did you feel proud of yourself? How did your surroundings respond?

#title #show #courage #circumstance #exercise #action #bravery #surroundings
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Courage is a state of mind which enables a person to face problems, difficulty, danger and pains without feeling any
fear
. People can show that they are courageous in different situations.
However
, there are some people who are not that strong and they are not willing to face a difficult situation. As in my case, I had to exercise my courage in various situations both in my personal and professional life. I recalled that when I was a first student at the University of Mauritius doing my
Bachelor
Change noun form
Bachelor's
show examples
 Degree, we had to organise ourselves into a group of 5 to 6 students in order to make a formal presentation in front of the class on a particular topic. I had never talked in public and in front of an audience.
This
 became a stress for me and did not know how to manage the situation.
Although
 I did a lot of practice, focused on the subject and performed a of deep breathing, I could still feel the
fear
 of public speaking. The main
fear
 inside me was the underlying judgment and negative evaluation by the audience. At
this
 very moment, when our turn came, I had no other choice than to master my courage and talk before
classmates
Correct pronoun usage
my classmates
show examples
 and teachers.
However
, during my
speech
Add a comma
speech,
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 I felt that I was gradually gaining confidence
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 myself and
this
 drove me more fearless
and
Correct word choice
apply
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I was able to move forward with my speech smoothly and I was feeling at ease. I felt very proud of myself since
this
 was the first time that I had to address an audience and
also
 I was able to develop my
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
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 to speak confidently and without any
fear
. The next day at the University, all my friends came to see me and they congratulated me for my performance in front of the class.
This
 was a memorable moment for me as I was able to make new friends as well in my class.
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively details a personal experience demonstrating courage, achieving a good structure. However, to enhance coherence, consider introducing more varied transition phrases to smoothly link ideas between paragraphs. This can guide readers more fluidly through your narrative.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed the task, sharing a clear and comprehensive story of overcoming fear. For further improvement, try to expand on the reflection of your experience. Discuss in more detail how this event impacted you in the long term and whether it changed your approach to facing fears or public speaking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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