IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

#“prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
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Many believe that preventing diseases is more important
that
Correct word choice
than
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 research and
treatment
Use synonyms
 because
that is
Linking Words
 less costly. In my opinion, investments in preventive measures should have a greater emphasis because
this
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 will give
a
Remove the article
apply
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better public
health
Use synonyms
 and it is cheaper for both the individual and
public
Correct article usage
the public
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. In general, when a person is healthy, he or she is able to have a better quality of life. More
specific
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specifically
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, the person is able to function better at home with family,
will
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and will
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 function better at work, and in the broader society.
Consequently
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, increasing the person is benefitting
and
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apply
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the public. Even though there is a
treatment
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 for an illness, when it strikes, all three domains will be affected. Namely, the family have increased
expense
Correct article usage
the expense
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 of medicine and less social interaction.
In addition
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, companies have
a
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apply
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lost
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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. Treating diseases is a costly affair for individuals and the public. In many cases, simple everyday measures
such
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 as training, reducing alcohol and
quit
Wrong verb form
quitting
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 smoking will impact
health
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, reducing the expenses related to cardiac, transplantation and cancer
treatment
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 respectively.
For example
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, in a recent study,
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
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 found out that a third of morbidity and mortality in Norway is preventable with lifestyle changes.
Although
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 research is
also
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 important, expenses in
this
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 regard
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
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 the effects a preventive approach
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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. In conclusion, there are simple and cheap methods for
health
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 gain that should be invested in. Despite the importance
in
Change preposition
of
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 research and
treatment
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, preventing diseases results in
better
Add an article
a better
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 quality of life for individuals and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 public expenses on the
health
Use synonyms
 budget.
Submitted by sayedn on

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