Too much emphasis is placed on going university for academic study. People should be encouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack of qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
have been under pressure to go to university only for academic pursuits. Instead
, individuals should also
focus on vocational training due to
society's needs. I firmly agree with this
statement that vocational education
should be incentivised for the betterment of the public. This
essay explores details about the writer's perspective with the explanation.
Firstly
, everyone has not enough capacity to receive further
academic study
at university; therefore
, a vocational degree could be an option for these people
to work in trade, industry or agriculture as a result
of being qualified people
who contribute to society. Also
, by doing vocational training a person may enhance his life
experiences because they encounter many situations and people
. For example
, every person has different life
stories and perspectives, so meeting with them will make a person understandable with full of empathy. Thus
, not only academic study
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
vocational study
plays a significant role in personal progress.
Secondly
, vocational training offers numerous opportunities for people
to easily earn a high salary. Tradesmen , for instance
, have a chance to make millions through following effective strategies. Moreover
, vocational education
is crucial for those who struggle with academic study
. As a human, we feel better with more sense of fulfilment when we produce something in society. On the other words, finding a purpose in life
is linked to what we do. So, encouraging people
to work in vocational training is beneficial for exploring their aims in life
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe allowing people
to do vocational education
rather than academic education
is essential for their personal improvement. Increasing life
experience and receiving higher salaries are important two factors for choosing this
. Nevertheless
, it also
provides a sense of purpose for people
that they feel better.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the question.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words within and between paragraphs to make the flow of ideas smoother.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position and outlines the structure of the essay.
complete response
The essay offers a balanced response, considering different perspectives within the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and reinforces the writer's opinion.