Too much emphasis is placed on going university for academic study. People should be encouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack of qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
have been under pressure to go to university only for academic pursuits.
Instead
, individuals should
also
focus on vocational training
due to
society's needs. I firmly agree with
this
statement that vocational
education
should be incentivised for the betterment of the public.
This
essay explores details about the writer's perspective with the explanation.
Firstly
, everyone has not enough capacity to receive
further
academic
study
at university;
therefore
, a vocational degree could be an option for these
people
to work in trade, industry or agriculture
as a result
of being qualified
people
who contribute to society.
Also
, by doing vocational training a person may enhance his
life
experiences because they encounter many situations and
people
.
For example
, every person has different
life
stories and perspectives, so meeting with them will make a person understandable with full of empathy.
Thus
, not only academic
study
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
vocational
study
plays a significant role in personal progress.
Secondly
, vocational training offers numerous opportunities for
people
to easily earn a high salary. Tradesmen ,
for instance
, have a chance to make millions through following effective strategies.
Moreover
, vocational
education
is crucial for those who struggle with academic
study
. As a human, we feel better with more sense of fulfilment when we produce something in society. On the other words, finding a purpose in
life
is linked to what we do. So, encouraging
people
to work in vocational training is beneficial for exploring their aims in
life
. In conclusion, I strongly believe allowing
people
to do vocational
education
rather than academic
education
is essential for their personal improvement. Increasing
life
experience and receiving higher salaries are important two factors for choosing
this
.
Nevertheless
, it
also
provides a sense of purpose for
people
that they feel better.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position and outlines the structure of the essay.
complete response
The essay offers a balanced response, considering different perspectives within the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and reinforces the writer's opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic study
  • vocational training
  • qualified tradespeople
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • prestigious
  • availability
  • skilled tradespeople
  • economic benefits
  • entry into the workforce
  • educational costs
  • societal needs
  • functioning of everyday life
  • shortage
  • professions
  • potential for high earnings
  • career stability
  • overlooked
  • university degrees
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