IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
#information #families #country #income
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The bar charts compare weekly
Use synonyms
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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 which is spent by families in a country between 1968 and 2018. Units are measured in
per
Change preposition
apply
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cent
Fix the agreement mistake
cents
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average spent on food, clothing and footwear,
also
Linking Words
 personal
goods
Use synonyms
 faced a downward trend to only half in 2018,
whereas
Linking Words
 the remaining
categories
Use synonyms
 are the inverse, and it is noted that only household
goods
Use synonyms
 remain unchanged in the periods given. Obviously, families in 1968 prefer to cost their money on food,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
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 in
2018
Add a comma
,2018
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 the average cost of weekly
expenditure
Use synonyms
 is on the family budget. In terms of daily life needs, food is the highest spent
expenditure
Use synonyms
 among all the
categories
Use synonyms
 in 1968 about 30% to roughly decreased by almost half in 2018. The same follows with two other
categories
Use synonyms
 which are clothing and footwear about 10% to only just 5% in 2018 and personal
goods
Use synonyms
 a little below 10% in 1968 to facing a reduction to 4% in 2018. Even though fuel and power are having a decline too in 2018, it is only by 2% of it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the remaining
categories
Use synonyms
 which are housing, transport, and leisure had an extremely upward trend to almost over half in 2018 with the following detail of housing
expenditure
Use synonyms
 at 10%, transport at 7%, and leisure at 9%. Progressively increased in 2018 to 19%, 15%, and 22%, respectively. Opposed to the cost of household
goods
Use synonyms
 which
is remain
Change the verb form
remains
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 the same in the following years.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, goods, categories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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