IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Physical appearance may play an important role in many spheres of life: in the person’s success in school, in relationships with people, in the choice of a career path. Say whether you agree or disagree with it, and if you see it as a positive or negative factor.

#appearance #role #spheres #life #person’s #success #school #relationships #people #choice #career #path #factor
Physical
appearances
Fix the agreement mistake
appearance
show examples
 is
one
 of the most important factors
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an individual’s success in school,
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and the selection of a career path. In the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss why I disagree with
this
 statement and I see
this
 as a positive factor. To be successful in
life
 physical
appearances
Fix the agreement mistake
appearance
show examples
 might be the least important
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
.
Life
 is complicated enough that in order to change in a way that
one
 individual desires, requires a lot of work and effort.
For example
, Jack Ma is
one
 of the most successful and influential people in the world. His physical
appearances
Fix the agreement mistake
appearance
show examples
 might not be good enough. But his insight
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
life
 and his understanding of it is so inspiring. He used to say that in order to be successful in any area in
life
 we must have patience and engage in consistent action, which is the most important aspect of determining someone being successful in
life
. Physical
appearances
 have a positive effect on
one
’s social status.
Firstly
, the attractiveness of a person might enhance someone’s opportunity in
life
.
Moreover
, it boosts self-esteem and confidence.
For instance
, those people who have a career in
modeling
Change the spelling
modelling
show examples
 are often the type of people who have perfect physical
appearances
. But even
this
 job requires a lot of effort in order to be successful in the job and career. In conclusion, the most important characteristic for someone
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 successful in any area in
life
 is patience and engaging
consistent
Change preposition
in consistent
show examples
 action which is whole another level in comparison to physical
appearances
. Physical
appearances
 could be
one
 of the factors but it is an important
one
 of determining someone being successful in
life
.
Submitted by mohammad.saffarian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: