Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions.

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Advanced technologies and modern
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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could be factors making
people
Use synonyms
inactive and weaker than before. To be healthy and strong,
people
Use synonyms
must find opportunities to work out in their daily
living
Replace the word
lives
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. Advanced technology particularly a variety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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applications in smartphones
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
Use synonyms
have more convenient and easier lifestyles which leads them to less physical movements.
This
Linking Words
could be the reason why
people
Use synonyms
are inactive.
For example
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, before smartphones were approaching, officers had to go for lunch in a cafeteria or a restaurant outside of the office. So, they have a chance to walk and change their positions in order to get some food. At present, they can order food via the applications
such
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as Grab or Panda and so on which deliver directly to their office.
Moreover
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, it’s not only food that can be ordered online, but
also
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most of everything in supermarkets or malls
could
Wrong verb form
can
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be delivered everywhere.
Therefore
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, the consequences of these behaviour changes bring them to unhealthy lifestyles. For
people
Use synonyms
who desire to get fit and powerful as they used to be, they have to try to adjust some of their daily
routine
Change to a plural noun
routines
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.
For instance
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, reducing online shopping and going shopping with friends or family more often can be beneficial for both physical health and mental health.
Additionally
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, finding different ways to get more physical fitness in the workplace
such
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as taking the stairs
instead
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of the lift could bring some serious benefits for your health.
To sum up
Linking Words
, most
people
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are inactive and unenergetic because of the advanced technology which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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of
Change preposition
in
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several activities in daily life. To be active
people
Use synonyms
should consider adjusting their daily activities by using less technology.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples and statistical data to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more detailed introduction to outline your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to the main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both causes and solutions adequately.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summaries the main points, linking them back to the question effectively.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant contemporary examples to illustrate points, such as online food delivery.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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