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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The supplied diagram compares the process of five various teas which are made from their distinct leaves.

The supplied diagram compares the process of five various teas which are made from their distinct leaves.
The supplied diagram compares the
process
Use synonyms
 of five various
teas
Use synonyms
 which are made from their distinct leaves. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance, it is apparent that all of the techniques applying for having those
teas
Use synonyms
 completed
consists
Correct subject-verb agreement
consist
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 of Oven Drying and Plucking stages.
Besides
Linking Words
, the procedure of white
tea
Use synonyms
 is the most straightforward as it just includes 3 steps. Regarding generating
teas
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, after spending time growing the leaf, the farmers take a plucking stage to remove the leaf
out of
Change preposition
from
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 the
tea
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 tree
while
Linking Words
 the withering
process
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 is utilized as the second one.
Then
Linking Words
 the techniques are separated for each kind of
tea
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as
Change preposition
apply
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the white
tea
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applying
Wrong verb form
applies
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 the oven drying
process
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 to have
tea
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 product,
however
Linking Words
, the green
tea
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 which has more different steps will take the drying step as the final step after having taken 2 other steps.
Having
Unnecessary verb
The
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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green
tea
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 needs
undergoing
Change the verb form
to undergo
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 the stages of
steaming
Correct article usage
the steaming
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 and rolling
process
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, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fermentation will not take part in the method of making green
tea
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. In terms of
procedure
Correct article usage
the procedure
show examples
 of other
teas
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, Oolong
tea
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 skips the water evaporation and
pass
Correct subject-verb agreement
passes
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 the rolling
process
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 which is similar to the technique of making
large leaf
Add a hyphen
large-leaf
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 black
tea
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 the fermentation utilized by the Oolong
tea
Use synonyms
 is slight but is full when it takes part in
procedure
Add an article
the procedure
show examples
 of

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, teas, tea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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