the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.

the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.
The bar graphs depict information about how much
time
juveniles spend with their family members on weekdays and
weekends
.
Overall
, on weekdays, the highest amounts of
time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children spend with their
mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
show examples
,
whereas
on
weekends
, they often prefer to spend with their
parents
.
To begin
with, on weekdays, o-1 aged toddlers spend almost 9
hours
both
Change preposition
with both
show examples
their
parents
and mostly with their
mother
around 5
hours
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. In the case of 2-3
age
of children spend approximately 6
hours
with their
mother
only and 1.5
hours
with both
mother
and father 0.7
hours
with dad. The numbers of
time
spend with their all family members near about 8
hours
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
collectively.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
6-7 and 8-9
age
groups, spend similar
time
separately with their
mom
and dad and nearly 3
hours
with their
parents
. Moving
further
, on the
weekends
, o-1
age
of children spend
time
with their
mom
and
parents
that is
accounted for nearly 8
hours
and with
mom
less than 1 hour. Another all
age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
spend the majority of with both
mom
and father on Sunday and Saturday
along with
being accompanied by father
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is almost 14
hours
on
weekends
. Surprisingly, spending
time
with
mom
is less popular.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, weekends, mother, parents, hours, age, mom with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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