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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high schools and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In several countries, young people are encouraged to take a gap
year
Use synonyms
 to work or travel after finishing high school and before starting university.
While
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this
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 can bring valuable experiences and personal growth, it
also
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 comes with certain drawbacks that cannot be ignored. On the positive side, taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off allows young people to gain real-world experience before committing to higher education. Working during
this
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 period helps them develop important skills
such
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 as communication, teamwork, and financial responsibility.
Moreover
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,
students
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 who travel get exposed to different cultures and lifestyles, which broadens their worldview and makes them more independent and mature.
For instance
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, many
students
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 who volunteer abroad return with a better understanding of global issues and a clearer sense of purpose for their studies.
However
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, there are some downsides to
this
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 approach. One major disadvantage is that
students
Use synonyms
 may lose academic momentum. After a
year
Use synonyms
 away from studying, it can be challenging to get back into the habit of academic work.
Additionally
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,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 can be expensive, and not all families can afford to support their children financially during a gap
year
Use synonyms
. Some
students
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 may
also
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 become too comfortable earning money or living independently and may decide not to pursue university at all, which could affect their long-term career prospects. In conclusion, spending a
year
Use synonyms
 working or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 can help young people grow personally and gain valuable life experience, but it can
also
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 lead to financial strain and a break in their academic progress.
Therefore
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, whether a gap
year
Use synonyms
 is beneficial or not largely depends on how responsibly the student plans and uses that time.

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improvement
Plan your answer to give a quick, clear view at once, then add both sides and finish with a short end.
improvement
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a short line that states it.
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Add one or two small, real facts or examples to back each point.
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Make the end sum up the view in a simple way and link to what you first said.
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Use easy words and clear phrases. Do not use hard or new words unless needed.
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Try to make the links between ideas very clear with simple connect words.
strength
The essay shows a clear view on both sides.
strength
It uses linking words well (However, For instance, In conclusion).
strength
A real example is used to back a point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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