IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 paper, we will be discussing both views as we think that both of them have valid arguments,
however
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, we believe that
humans
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 should employ
animals
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 as long as it is for food and research, and any
use
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 different from it should be condemned. Human whether we like it or not, is just another specie of animal trying to survive, and like any other omnivore employ meat as part of their diet;
besides
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 human is not the only specie that does it, other
animals
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also
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 feed on meat for survive, which proves that killing
animals
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 for feeding purposes is natural in some species, we call them carnivore. Another aspect we support, as we already mentioned, is the
use
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 of
animals
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 for research; we believe it is
also
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 legitimate for
humans
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 to
use
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animals
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 if the goal is the development of science, as it may help,
for example
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, to find new medicines to cure diseases, not only in
humans
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 but
also
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 in other species.
On the other hand
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, we condemn the
use
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 of
animals
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 for sports or any kind of human entertainment.
Animals
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 are sentient beings and,
therefore
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, should be respected, and used only under the conditions mentioned above,
however
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, it is utopic to think of a world where
humans
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 don’t eat meat because nature shows
that is
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 something completely natural and inherent in them. In conclusion, we agree the killing of
animals
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 by human beings should be restricted only to feeding and research purposes, any other
use
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 of
animals
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 outside of these conditions should be punished and should be condemned since
animals
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 are sentient living beings that deserve respect and live with dignity.

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Specificity
To strengthen your essay, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This can provide a stronger basis for your views, making your position more persuasive.
Tone
Pay attention to your word choice to maintain a formal tone throughout. Avoid using colloquial language or overly generalized statements.
Balance
Ensure the essay stays focused on the prompt by directly addressing and analyzing each view before presenting your own. While your personal stance is clear, expanding on the reasoning behind opposing views can offer a more balanced discussion.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are structurally sound, providing a clear roadmap for the reader.
Organization
You've effectively organized your essay, which makes your argument easy to follow.
Support
Your main points are supported, but could be enhanced with more detailed examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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