IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn about different cultures, or to increase tension between people from different countries? Discuss both views.

#countries #people #cultures #tension
Some
people
 believe that increasing
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
 between
countries
 is leading
people
 to learn about other
cultures
,
whereas
 others think that it could
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
tension between them. in the following paragraphs, both of these views will be discussed in detail. On the one hand, these days, the government of every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 have been trying to increase
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 tourism, leading to learning various
cultures
 from other
countries
.
In addition
,
people
 can see how other
countries
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 developed. To illustrate, many
countries
 in the world,
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 robots
in stead
Correct your spelling
instead
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 of hiring waitresses, leading to reducing the cost of hiring
working
Replace the word
workers
show examples
.
As a result
, the restaurant can save more money and spend
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other parts
such
 as extending to many branches.
However
, the major benefit is that increasing
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
 can affect more tourists, leading to
improving
Replace the word
improved
show examples
an economic
Correct the article-noun agreement
economic countries
an economic country
show examples
countries
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 would be more
tension
Replace the word
tense
show examples
 from different
countries
.
For instance
, they might not
familiar
Add a missing verb
be familiar
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 with other
cultures
such
 as speaking in a very loud noise and the food that some
countries
 eat affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the smell, causing uncomfortable for some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
. In conclusion, improving travel between
countries
 depends on each personal thinking. There are both benefits and drawbacks.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
people
 think it is good that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism should be increased, some believe that they cannot accept and feel uncomfortable about different
cultures
.
Submitted by foamary41 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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