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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A lot of people nowadays are spending too much money and they do not save anything for future use. What are the reasons for people spend too much? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #money #future #development
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These days, so many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have more unnecessary expenses rather than allocate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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into
Change preposition
to
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 their savings
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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 for future plans.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss that ads’ influence and social status could be the reason behind
this
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 phenomenon, and
this
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 essay will
also
Linking Words
 consider
this
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 event as a negative development. First of all, the media have been growing rapidly for
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 decades.
As a result
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, there is an increasing number of ads being produced to meet the demand.
This
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 massive
ads
Change the noun form
ad
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 production has so many influential messages for the watcher to buy the product. Recent surveys about product marketing state that MacDonald witnessed an increasing trend
up
Change preposition
of up
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 to 60% when they shared their new product through communal-based street ads.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays tend to care so much about social status.
This
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 happened mostly because many
people
Use synonyms
 use social media just to brag
over
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
wealthness
Correct your spelling
wealthiness
. In consequence, social standards will be uncontrolled and
people
Use synonyms
 will compare themself
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
 unrealistic social media stars.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 uncontrolled expenditure can lead to several problems in the future.
To begin
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 with, the cost to build an actual house will continue to rise throughout the years. If
people
Use synonyms
 do not have enough plans and savings for them to have a place to stay in the future, they are likely to become homeless. Some studies said that there
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been an alarming rate of homeless
people
Use synonyms
 over the past 5 years all over the world.
Furthermore
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, inflation will always happen, resulting in higher living costs globally.
To conclude
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, massive ads’ influence and social status could be the main contributing factor
why
Change preposition
to why
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spend on unnecessary things nowadays.
This
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 is considered a negative development because it can lead to an increasing number of homeless in a country.
Submitted by zhafirahajarr on

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