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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
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The chart provides information about the amount of the
population
Use synonyms
 in the Philippines, Malaysia,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and Indonesia expressed in percentages between 1970 and 2020. The graph shows the predicted tendency in the next two decades as well.
Overall
Linking Words
, if we compare the first year of observation and the
last
Linking Words
 one, all figures for the
population
Use synonyms
 living in those cities will rise.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, Malaysia is the country that has a
population
Use synonyms
 that has grown the most: in fact, it is predicted that it will reach 80% in 2040.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the Indonesia ratio has been rising up to 60% between 1970 and 2040.
However
Linking Words
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 the Indonesia proportion had a constant increase,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 Malaysia
population
Use synonyms
 percentage registered a sudden decrease; its lowest rate was 40% in 1990.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and the Philippines had a similar trend. It has been anticipated that both of them will reach a
population
Use synonyms
 of approximately 50%.
However
Linking Words
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the Philippines
population
Use synonyms
 had a peak of nearly 50% in 1990, the
Thailand
Use synonyms
 ratio remained stable at 35% for 30 years. It has been predicted that the plateau situation will not
last
Linking Words
 anymore, as shown, the
Thailand
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 will increase constantly from 35% to 45% in 2040.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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