The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005

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The line graph illustrates the sum of residents participating in 4 separate types of sports in one certain area from 1985 to 2005.

It is clear that

Linking Words

there was an upward tendency in the number of crowds joining in

tennis

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the figure for rugby players decreased significantly.

Besides

Linking Words

, Basketball and badminton

also

Linking Words

witnessed stability during the observed period. In 1985, rugby was the most popular sport as it had nearly 250 participants. Meanwhile, about 150

people

Use synonyms

took part in

tennis

Use synonyms

. Over the next decade, there was a drop of about 50 players in rugger

while

Linking Words

the total of those in

tennis

Use synonyms

rose to 250

people

Use synonyms

. From that year to 2005, rugby was less preferred, the number of

people

Use synonyms

playing it kept declining and

then

Linking Words

reached a low of only 50 players in 2015,

whereas

Linking Words

tennis

Use synonyms

saw a rise to approximately 225 participants.

In addition

Linking Words

, in the year 1985, there were only 50 and 75

people

Use synonyms

enjoying badminton and basketball respectively. They were not really concerned as the percentage of those remained unchanged throughout the years until 2005.

Submitted by danphamngocha on Fri Jun 23 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tennis, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participants
participation
trend
significant increase
decrease
stability
popularity
regional interest
key trends
peaks
troughs
local leagues
school programs
media influence
public health initiatives
availability of facilities
competitive success
fluctuations
impact
major tournaments
notable players
local clubs
coaching programs

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The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005

Topic: Renewable Energy Sources: Advantages and Disadvantages

Some people say that now we can see films watching movies at home is easier and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, movies need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The natural resources such as oil, forests, and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve this problems ?

smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services.one way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. what are the pros and cons of such a government policy ? what alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking ?

Fewer and fewer children are willing to look after their parents as they get older these days. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.