Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

It is increasingly common to see a person with a phone wherever they are nowadays. The same is with

children

, who may spend hours on their phones every day. There are several reasons for

this

phenomenon, and I tend to think it is a negative development. The contributing factors for

this

case are as follows.

Firstly

, smartphones today are powerful in functions, and there are many things to do with different apps.

Children

can watch short videos on apps like Tiktok, do shopping on Amazon, and play games with their friends without meeting them in person.

Also

, the surrounding environment plays an important role. It is not only

children

but

also

adults that are often found on their phones these days. In

this

case, it may be not that surprising to see a child obsessed with the mobile. Though the smartphone provides many kinds of entertainment for

children

, the drawbacks of

this

phenomenon are pretty obvious. Childhood and adolescence are two significant life stages where

children

can learn and practice various skills useful in their adult life.

For example

, they can learn to socialize with their peers, study academic subjects and practice after school to familiarize themselves with knowledge and do extracurricular reading to broaden their horizons.

However

, valuable hours are wasted on mobile phones for entertainment today, and

as a result

, they do not have time to practise the skills they will need later in life. In conclusion, the powerful functions of smartphones and the negative impacts of adults using them are two major factors for

this

phenomenon, and their detrimental effects are noteworthy.

Submitted by yuelikai.echo on Sat Jun 24 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.