Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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It is increasingly common to see a person with a phone wherever they are nowadays. The same is with

children

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, who may spend hours on their phones every day. There are several reasons for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, and I tend to think it is a negative development. The contributing factors for

this

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case are as follows.

Firstly

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, smartphones today are powerful in functions, and there are many things to do with different apps.

Children

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can watch short videos on apps like Tiktok, do shopping on Amazon, and play games with their friends without meeting them in person.

Also

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, the surrounding environment plays an important role. It is not only

children

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but

also

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adults that are often found on their phones these days. In

this

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case, it may be not that surprising to see a child obsessed with the mobile. Though the smartphone provides many kinds of entertainment for

children

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, the drawbacks of

this

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phenomenon are pretty obvious. Childhood and adolescence are two significant life stages where

children

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can learn and practice various skills useful in their adult life.

For example

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, they can learn to socialize with their peers, study academic subjects and practice after school to familiarize themselves with knowledge and do extracurricular reading to broaden their horizons.

However

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, valuable hours are wasted on mobile phones for entertainment today, and

as a result

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, they do not have time to practise the skills they will need later in life. In conclusion, the powerful functions of smartphones and the negative impacts of adults using them are two major factors for

this

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phenomenon, and their detrimental effects are noteworthy.

Submitted by yuelikai.echo on Sat Jun 24 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: •explain which course you are interested in •say what you know about the university • explain why you should receive the scholarship

in some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?