Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are multiple ways to raise social wellness. Some
people
believe that increasing physical activity facilities
is a crucial way, while
others argue that offering other measures is more useful than providing sports
tools. In this
essay, I will disguss
both views and offer my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs.
With the rise of Correct your spelling
discuss
health
awareness, more and more people
have started seeking efficient ways to improve their mental and physical health
; hence
exercise
is a straightforward option. To encourage exercise
, building sports
facilities
nearby can help stimulate behaviour and increase convenience. Take me as an example, there are not any gyms or parks near my rental apartment; therefore
, it is tough for me to maintain the exercise
hobby. If there are several facilities
, such
as a swimming pool, basketball ground, monkey bars and so on, then
I can enjoy sports
activities without going too far, maintain long-term habits, and further
level up my health
.
On the other hand
, some people
think extrinsic tools have little impact on social health
, and other measures like offering health
classes, reducing processed food or other health
-related policies should be held. First,
health
is associated with several levels, from mental to physical. At present, many people
struggle with stress, leading to bad mental health
, so sports
facilities
are useless for these people
to improve their health
. Furthermore
, dietary habits are also
important, even though some individuals tend to exercise
every day, they can also
suffer from diabesity due to
high sugar and processed food. Therefore
, considering various health
issues, there should be more measures for social health
instead
of only facilities
.
To sum up
, in my perspective, both opinions can help people
improve their health
quality; however
, I am in favour of the latter one, owing to the different levels of health
problems and long-term effects. I believe that health
issues are complex, and getting the right prescription is important.Submitted by Chloe on
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Task Achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement, ensure that every paragraph contributes clearly towards answering the prompt. While your essay does discuss both sides and your opinion, make it even clearer how each argument relates back to the question of improving public health.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay is well-structured, but it can be improved by varying your linking words. Instead of repeatedly saying 'Therefore', try using 'As a result', 'Consequently', or 'Hence' to keep your writing fluid and engaging.
Language
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and ensure your examples are fully contextualized for a stronger argument. This minor adjustment can significantly enhance the clarity and impact of your examples, making your response more persuasive.