Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are multiple ways to raise social wellness. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that increasing physical activity

facilities

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is a crucial way,

while

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others argue that offering other measures is more useful than providing

sports

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tools. In

this

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essay, I will

disguss

Correct your spelling

discuss

both views and offer my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs. With the rise of

health

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awareness, more and more

people

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have started seeking efficient ways to improve their mental and physical

health

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;

hence

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exercise

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is a straightforward option. To encourage

exercise

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, building

sports

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facilities

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nearby can help stimulate behaviour and increase convenience. Take me as an example, there are not any gyms or parks near my rental apartment;

therefore

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, it is tough for me to maintain the

exercise

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hobby. If there are several

facilities

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such

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as a swimming pool, basketball ground, monkey bars and so on,

then

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I can enjoy

sports

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activities without going too far, maintain long-term habits, and

further

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level up my

health

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On the other hand

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, some

people

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think extrinsic tools have little impact on social

health

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, and other measures like offering

health

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classes, reducing processed food or other

health

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-related policies should be held.

First,

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health

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is associated with several levels, from mental to physical. At present, many

people

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struggle with stress, leading to bad mental

health

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, so

sports

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facilities

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are useless for these

people

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to improve their

health

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, dietary habits are

also

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important, even though some individuals tend to

exercise

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every day, they can

also

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suffer from diabesity

due to

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high sugar and processed food.

Therefore

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, considering various

health

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issues, there should be more measures for social

health

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instead

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of only

facilities

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To sum up

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, in my perspective, both opinions can help

people

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improve their

health

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quality;

however

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, I am in favour of the latter one, owing to the different levels of

health

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problems and long-term effects. I believe that

health

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issues are complex, and getting the right prescription is important.

ChloeThu Feb 22 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your Task Achievement, ensure that every paragraph contributes clearly towards answering the prompt. While your essay does discuss both sides and your opinion, make it even clearer how each argument relates back to the question of improving public health.

Coherence and Cohesion

In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay is well-structured, but it can be improved by varying your linking words. Instead of repeatedly saying 'Therefore', try using 'As a result', 'Consequently', or 'Hence' to keep your writing fluid and engaging.

Language

Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and ensure your examples are fully contextualized for a stronger argument. This minor adjustment can significantly enhance the clarity and impact of your examples, making your response more persuasive.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Some universities deduct students’ marks if work is given late. What is your opinion and recommend some alternative actions for this problem?

You recently went to see a good play at a theatre, but you did not enjoy it because of some problems in the theatre. Write a letter to the manager of the theatre. In your letter: say which play you saw and when describe the problems you experienced in the theatre suggest what the manager should do