Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are multiple ways to raise social wellness. Some
people
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believe that increasing physical activity
facilities
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is a crucial way,
while
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others argue that offering other measures is more useful than providing
sports
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tools. In
this
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essay, I will
disguss
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discuss
both views and offer my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs. With the rise of
health
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awareness, more and more
people
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have started seeking efficient ways to improve their mental and physical
health
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;
hence
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exercise
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is a straightforward option. To encourage
exercise
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, building
sports
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facilities
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nearby can help stimulate behaviour and increase convenience. Take me as an example, there are not any gyms or parks near my rental apartment;
therefore
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, it is tough for me to maintain the
exercise
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hobby. If there are several
facilities
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,
such
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as a swimming pool, basketball ground, monkey bars and so on,
then
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I can enjoy
sports
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activities without going too far, maintain long-term habits, and
further
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level up my
health
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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think extrinsic tools have little impact on social
health
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, and other measures like offering
health
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classes, reducing processed food or other
health
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-related policies should be held.
First,
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health
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is associated with several levels, from mental to physical. At present, many
people
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struggle with stress, leading to bad mental
health
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, so
sports
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facilities
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are useless for these
people
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to improve their
health
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.
Furthermore
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, dietary habits are
also
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important, even though some individuals tend to
exercise
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every day, they can
also
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suffer from diabesity
due to
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high sugar and processed food.
Therefore
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, considering various
health
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issues, there should be more measures for social
health
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instead
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of only
facilities
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.
To sum up
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, in my perspective, both opinions can help
people
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improve their
health
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quality;
however
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, I am in favour of the latter one, owing to the different levels of
health
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problems and long-term effects. I believe that
health
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issues are complex, and getting the right prescription is important.
Submitted by Chloe on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement, ensure that every paragraph contributes clearly towards answering the prompt. While your essay does discuss both sides and your opinion, make it even clearer how each argument relates back to the question of improving public health.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay is well-structured, but it can be improved by varying your linking words. Instead of repeatedly saying 'Therefore', try using 'As a result', 'Consequently', or 'Hence' to keep your writing fluid and engaging.
Language
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and ensure your examples are fully contextualized for a stronger argument. This minor adjustment can significantly enhance the clarity and impact of your examples, making your response more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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