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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#people #children #life #outweigh
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These days, the vast majority of individuals are having
children
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 at later stages of their life.
This
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 essay discusses various reasons behind
this
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 mentality and why
this
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 practice has more drawbacks than benefits.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 are having kids at later stages of life
due to
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 their personal and professional pursuits.
Firstly
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, young individuals are focused on their careers and are interested
to achieve
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in achieving
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 higher positions and status in their
life
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lives
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 before taking up their family responsibilities.
Secondly
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, the vast majority of young adults believe that their 20s and early 30s should be spent on various pleasure activities like travelling and having a child at a young
age
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 will hinder them from doing it.
Thus
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, these are the reasons
people
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 choose not to have
children
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 at an early
age
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.
However
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, having
children
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 at a late
age
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 is disadvantageous for both
people
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 and society. Studies have shown that women have a higher risk of having miscarriages when they conceive after a certain
age
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.
Moreover
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, in countries where the birth rate is low, there is a shortage of young workforce.
For instance
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, countries like Japan are experiencing a very high shortage of young
people
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 as most
people
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 marry late and many of them fail to conceive.
Also
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, women who conceive in their late 30s or 40s are more likely to have babies with genetic defects like Down syndrome. In conclusion,
people
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 are having
children
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 at an advanced
age
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 because they want to focus on their careers and achieve financial stability. I believe that
this
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 development is largely detrimental to the individuals and the community.
Submitted by odod_aja on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a complete response. It addresses both the reasons for having children at a later age and evaluates the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-managed, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in connecting and organizing ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.
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