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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some argue that music mainly served as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Music
Use synonyms
 is mainly used to reduce
stress
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 and
anxiety
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.
Although
Linking Words
music
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 can calm
people
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 when they are stressed or angry about something,
music
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 is used in happy moments, too to be happier and increase their mood. On the one hand, most
people
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use
Use synonyms
music
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 to reduce
stress
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 and
anxiety
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situations
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 and even
music
Use synonyms
 can uplift their mood, especially in the evening most stressful
people
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 listen to calm
music
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 to reduce their
stress
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. Calm
music
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 can get quiet when
people
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 are angry.
For example
Linking Words
, in fact, most calm musics are produced to get quite stressful
people
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.
Therefore
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, most
music
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 can calm
anxiety
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 and stressful person.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other significant
situations
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 in which is necessary to
use
Use synonyms
music
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.
Music
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 can be used to have fun and in some happy
situations
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 when
people
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 are happy with something. When
people
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 enjoy something, they want to listen to some funny kinds of
music
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 and even want to dance to some entertaining
music
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 from enjoying.
For instance
Linking Words
, at weddings or birthdays, most
people
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use
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 entertaining
music
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 to be happier and have a wonderful day. So,
music
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 can be used for
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 significant
situationsituations
Correct your spelling
situation situations
, too. In conclusion, most musics are used to reduce the level of
stress
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 and
anxiety
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. Quiet
music
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 can calm
people
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 in stressful and anxious
situations
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. But, there are other
situations
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, too to
use
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music
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as in happy moments, most
people
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 want to listen to some funnier kinds of
music
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, especially at weddings or birthdays.
Music
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 can remind
people
Use synonyms
 of good memories.

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Logical Structure
To improve the logical structure of your essay, consider organizing your main ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with supporting details and examples relevant to that idea.
Logical Structure
Enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
Relevant Specific Examples
When providing examples, try to be specific and ensure they directly support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
Complete Response
You addressed both stress-reducing and entertainment aspects of music, demonstrating a comprehensive approach to the task.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
The essay successfully acknowledges various functions of music, indicating a broad understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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