IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reason

#people #music #impact #effect #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
, today’s
music
Use synonyms
 can create bad
infuclence
Correct your spelling
influence
 on
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 and on the other side, it could bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positivity
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
around
 them.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides.
Music
Use synonyms
 is a power
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one can have to express
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feeling and it can
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
people
Use synonyms
’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. If the words are positive it will bring good energy between
people
Use synonyms
.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
example
Add an article
an example
show examples
, when
people
Use synonyms
 listen to religious
music
Use synonyms
, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to keep their mind
clam
Correct your spelling
calm
show examples
 and stable.
According to
Linking Words
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
 happened in a local newspaper,
people
Use synonyms
 usually listen to good
music
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 morning to have a good day as well
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 mood for the whole day. Some
people
Use synonyms
 even
analysize
Correct your spelling
analyse
 that
music
Use synonyms
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to focus more
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their work.
Therefore
Linking Words
, mostly in the malls and stores
people
Use synonyms
 play good
music
Use synonyms
 to keep everyone’s mood good and for positivity as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
 has
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 bad impact on
people
Use synonyms
 as kids these days learn all the foul words from
music
Use synonyms
 which is not good for their
upbrining
Correct your spelling
upbringing
. Young
people
Use synonyms
 follow their favourite
artist
Change noun form
artist's
show examples
 bad habits as well
such
Linking Words
 as
somking
Correct your spelling
singing
 and
driniking
Correct your spelling
drinking
 in
music
Use synonyms
vidoes
Correct your spelling
videos
.
Music
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 a
resaon
Correct your spelling
reason
 to have
fight
Wrong verb form
fights
show examples
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
show examples
music
Use synonyms
lauched
Correct your spelling
launched
 by
a
Change the article
an
show examples
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 singer
last
Linking Words
 year on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 religious matter became the ground of fight
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 different religious
people
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
music
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 power to
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
 all the
people
Use synonyms
 in the world
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 words and
music
Use synonyms
 can a create
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
.
Submitted by dikshas076 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: