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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
I am of the personal belief that
students
 should study financial
education
 as a compulsory part of the
school
 curriculum. Basically, I believe that financial literacy is essential for everyday life, and schools should equip
students
 with the knowledge and skills to make financial decisions.
This
 includes understanding budgeting, saving, investing, managing debt, and the basic concepts of personal finance.
This
, I suppose, can be best exemplified by the fact that in a study carried out by the University of Shahid Beheshti in the city of Tehran in 2007 on bachelor's
students
, it was seen that 35% of
students
 were able to understand effective budgeting to manage their income, prioritise spending, and avoid unnecessary debt.
Furthermore
, it has been said that by providing financial
education
 at an early age in
school
,
students
 have a better chance of developing healthy financial habits that will lead to long-term financial stability.
Students
 will be better prepared to deal with financial challenges and make responsible financial decisions in the future, and I cannot but agree with
such
 an opinion, as best illustrated by an article written in the
School
 Journal, in which it was stated that integrating financial
education
 into the
school
 curriculum is a proactive step towards ensuring the financial well-being of future generations.
Finally
, I would like
to conclude
 by saying that financially literate people make a positive contribution to the economy. By understanding concepts
such
 as saving, investing, and entrepreneurship,
students
 may be more likely to pursue higher
education
, start businesses, and make wise economic decisions, ultimately benefiting themselves and society.
According to
 Dr John Kersey of Harvard University, "The economic benefits of financial literacy are undeniable. Financially literate individuals contribute to economic growth, job creation, and personal financial well-being. Based on the aforementioned argument, I must reiterate that I believe financial literacy should be taught as a compulsory subject in schools.
Submitted by maryam.veiszadeh on

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task achievement
You have presented a clear position throughout the response and have provided a fully developed answer to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, you should avoid using phrases like 'I suppose,' which can undermine the assertiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. To further strengthen coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, making use of a wider range of linking words or phrases.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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