IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In many nations today, consumers have access to any kind of
food
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 from around the whole world by using to supermarkets. I would argue that
this
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 phenomenon has a positive development in societies because it provides variety from choice and support economic growth. One of the biggest advantages of global
food
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 trade is
increase
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 variety on choices. Consumers can enjoy a wide range of foods including exotic fruits, spices, and international ingredients that were previously unavailable.
Additionally
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,
this
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 allows people to experience different cuisines and meals, which some of them are rich in vitamins and minerals.
For instance
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, salmon is not exist in some countries but people now can cook it with substitutes many different cuisines all over the world as salmon is one of the most foods are full of vitamins
such
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 as B, A and Zinc.
Moreover
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, the benefits of global
food
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 trade has helped many
farmers
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 recently.
Farmers
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 and producers can expand their own businesses and export their product which helps to improve state economy and
increase
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 the income.
For example
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, date
farmers
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 in Saudi Arabia has recorded a high
increase
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 in export and production
due to
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 increasing dates demand from all over the world which helps many
farmers
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 to
increase
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 the income significantly, knowledge that
also
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 contributes to economic development in Saudi Arabia. In conclusion, availability of global
food
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 in supermarkets results offers variety and different choices for people, and
also
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 has a benefits in economic growth and
increase
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farmers
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’ income. I believe that
this
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 has a positive development on people’s quality lives.

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language
Make sure to use articles correctly. For example, instead of 'the whole world', you could say 'the world'. Also, consider rephrasing 'by using to supermarkets' to 'by going to supermarkets'.
examples
Try to strengthen your examples with more details and clarity. For instance, when discussing salmon, provide more context about its health benefits or popular dishes.
language
Be careful with grammar and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'the benefits of global food trade has' should be 'the benefits of global food trade have'.
language
Improve the overall clarity of some sentences. For example, 'salmon is not exist in some countries' would be clearer as 'salmon does not exist in some countries'.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance on the topic, arguing that global food trade has a positive impact. This is a strong point for task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant ideas and points about the benefits of global food access, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, a body explaining your points, and a conclusion summarizing your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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