IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
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The
world
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 has different
countries
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 with different face values. Some
countries
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 are more fortunate than others in terms of
resources
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 so they make more
money
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 than other
countries
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. It is a common notion to people that first
world
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countries
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 should not only provide
money
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 for third
world
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countries
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 extend help in other
forms
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 as
money
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 is not enough to combat
poverty
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 alone. I, for one, do not disagree with
this
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due to
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 the following reasons.
Firstly
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,
poverty
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 comes in many
forms
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 of economic crisis. It could be because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
resources
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, manpower or a dysfunctional government
therefore
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,
while
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 financial
aid
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 would go a long way it does not address the current problem in every third
world
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countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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.
Secondly
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, inflation is a constant variable in the economy. The value of
money
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 decreases when there is a significant increase in the demand for
resources
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 compared to the number of
resources
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 available.
Moreover
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, as
money
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 could be a quick
resolve
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resolution
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor
countries
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 now it does not resolve the issue of
poverty
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 in the future.
Lastly
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, there is no assurance that the financial
aid
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 given by the rich
countries
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 will be used directly to help combat
poverty
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. The difference in the opinions of the government officials in each
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countries
Change to a singular noun
country
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 who are recipients of
this
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 financial
aid
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 is a main factor in deciding how the
money
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 will be used. To explain, the
money
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 given by the first
world
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countries
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 could be used in different
forms
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 like buying
resources
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, increasing manpower or
pocketed
Add a missing verb
being pocketed
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 by corrupt
official
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officials
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, so there is no guarantee that
this
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 will directly address the
poverty
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 issues of the country.
To conclude
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,
money
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 alone does not exterminate the ongoing issue of
poverty
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less fortunate
countries
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.
However
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, other
forms
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Use synonyms
aid
Change preposition
of aid
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 like medicines, food and healthcare facilities could make an enormous difference.
Submitted by janepedraita on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
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