IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

43.Some people think people working in creative arts should be financially supported by government. Others think they should find financial support from other resources.

#people #arts #government #support #resources
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Despite all the changes the world has been undergoing in recent years,
art
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 remains one of the most hotly debated issues, especially as to whether it deserves
government
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 compensation. Some argue that financial resources should be directed not to the arts but to more pressing issues. Personally, I think
art
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 is a project that needs strong
support
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 from the
government
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.
Firstly
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,
art
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 can be considered a national treasure
that is
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 passed down from one generation to another.
In other words
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,
art
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 is the cultural heritage left to us by our ancestors and it is
also
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 a good way for future generations to learn about our glorious history.
Therefore
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, providing financial
support
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 to artists can be viewed as an investment in a culture
that is
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 both significant and lucrative.
Besides
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 the historical
value
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 of
art
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, another reason to invest in it is its apparent entertainment
value
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. More specifically, people can actually feel relaxed and entertained
while
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 looking at
art
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 because it has always been considered a wonderful form of entertainment. In
this
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 manner, the stress of work or studies can be decreased
while
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 simultaneously enhancing productivity. Granted, projects
such
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 as healthcare
also
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 require
government
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support
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. In fact, as long as financial subsidies for medical care are increased, citizens' physical and mental health can be guaranteed, leading to an improvement in life expectancy. All in all,
although
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 projects involving people's livelihoods require financial
support
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 from the
government
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, I still firmly believe in supporting
art
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due to
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 its historical
value
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 and entertainment
value
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.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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