Government money should be used to support children in school for sports rather than to support professional sports and arts that perform for the general public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #money #support #children #school #sports #arts

this

concurrent world,

law makers

Correct your spelling

lawmakers

show examples

spend

money

sports

in school and motivate them

too

Correct your spelling

show examples

play long and do not spend

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

money

proffesional

Correct your spelling

professional

sports

and arts .

However

, I disagree with

Correct article usage

the later

show examples

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

notion

fow

Correct your spelling

for

two reasons. To commence with,

Government

spend too much

money

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show examples

art

Add an article

an art

show examples

exhibition and

build

Wrong verb form

building

show examples

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

ground for

proffesional

Correct your spelling

professional

athelit

Correct your spelling

athlete

athletic

. Even though some might argue that they build

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

ground

Fix the agreement mistake

grounds

show examples

for their personal benefit , I still believe that these constructions and

investment

Fix the agreement mistake

investments

show examples

are very

beneficially

Change the word

beneficial

show examples

for the general

pubic

Correct your spelling

public

show examples

and children who play any

sports

Add a missing verb

are intrested

show examples

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

Moreover

, these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of innovation

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

encourage the generation

for

Change preposition

show examples

games and new things.

Thus

, it is proved that

Government

also

spend

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

money

proffessional

Correct your spelling

professional

games and exhibition for general public enjoyment. The most obvious reason why

Government

spend

money

on international and big art theme

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

they earn

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

money

on that platform

they

Correct word choice

because they

show examples

do extremely good

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

While

I concede that

Government

money

used

Add a missing verb

is used

show examples

for school student skills development because they are the future of the country , I still feel that in comparison to schools children more

money

used

Add a missing verb

is used

show examples

proffesional

Correct your spelling

professional

sports

and

arts

Change the noun form

art

show examples

things.

For instance

, India

have

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has

show examples

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

world

Change noun form

world's

show examples

largest cricket ground and exhibition

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Hence

, in a budget only 30%

money

Change preposition

of money

show examples

use

Add a missing verb

is use

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

school

sports

. In conclusion,not only it is very useful to build new grounds and

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Add the word(s)

but ,

show examples

also

that give more return apart their investment.

Submitted by shubhamsharma742589 on Wed Jun 28 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Government money should be used to support children in school for sports rather than to support professional sports and arts that perform for the general public. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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