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Band 6.5

Government money should be used to support children in school for sports rather than to support professional sports and arts that perform for the general public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #money #support #children #school #sports #arts
Sports
 have become an integral part of human life. There is a general opinion that resources should be allocated to
school
sports
instead
 of salaried
sports
 and art. I agree to a certain extent, as
schools
 are terribly underfunded;
however
, not all the funds should be given to
schools
 -
children
 retain an interest in
sports
 and arts
due to
 fame and
thus
 it needs to be distributed fairly
instead
.
Children
 in
school
 are starting out their lives and require all the help they can get in order to decide what they want to do. The best way to help them choose their career is by exposing them to a variety of
sports
, arts and sciences. Public
schools
 rely on government funding and
thus
 should be eligible for consideration. As a child, my
school
 did not have a lot of funding. We had a handful of footballs, which were decades old. The
school
 relied on charity from local businesses to improve its facilities. If the government extended their help to the
school
 at that point, it would've been easier for the
school
 to focus on their students rather than fundraising.
On the other hand
, professional
sports
 and arts are integral to human society.
Children
 learn by watching
sports
 on TV, hoping to become the next Messi or Ronaldo. The same can be said for any industry, including art. Watching musicians like Taylor Swift at concerts or actors
such
 as Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe in the cinema
also
 evokes ambition in
children
.
Thus
, are
also
 important. I believe that
schools
 require more funding - the professions usually have private backing and
therefore
 do not need government resources as much as
schools
. The industries have sponsors and producers and many wealthy individuals prefer to make a profit by supporting them -
schools
,
however
, do not have that luxury.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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