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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government money should be used to support children in school for sports rather than to support professional sports and arts that perform for the general public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #money #support #children #school #sports #arts
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Sports
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 have become an integral part of human life. There is a general opinion that resources should be allocated to
school
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sports
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instead
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 of salaried
sports
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 and art. I agree to a certain extent, as
schools
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 are terribly underfunded;
however
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, not all the funds should be given to
schools
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 -
children
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 retain an interest in
sports
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 and arts
due to
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 fame and
thus
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 it needs to be distributed fairly
instead
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.
Children
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 in
school
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 are starting out their lives and require all the help they can get in order to decide what they want to do. The best way to help them choose their career is by exposing them to a variety of
sports
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, arts and sciences. Public
schools
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 rely on government funding and
thus
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 should be eligible for consideration. As a child, my
school
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 did not have a lot of funding. We had a handful of footballs, which were decades old. The
school
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 relied on charity from local businesses to improve its facilities. If the government extended their help to the
school
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 at that point, it would've been easier for the
school
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 to focus on their students rather than fundraising.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, professional
sports
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 and arts are integral to human society.
Children
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 learn by watching
sports
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 on TV, hoping to become the next Messi or Ronaldo. The same can be said for any industry, including art. Watching musicians like Taylor Swift at concerts or actors
such
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 as Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe in the cinema
also
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 evokes ambition in
children
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.
Thus
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, are
also
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 important. I believe that
schools
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 require more funding - the professions usually have private backing and
therefore
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 do not need government resources as much as
schools
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. The industries have sponsors and producers and many wealthy individuals prefer to make a profit by supporting them -
schools
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,
however
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, do not have that luxury.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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