IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #system #railways #trams
During
this
 society's relentless pace, it is believed that allocating funds to mobilizing streets and motor lanes is more beneficial than public transportation. From the writer’s observation, it is better to charge expense on the public transport systems rather than on roads,
due to
 the circumstance of excessive use of autonomous vehicles and provide a more diverse in transporting. To commence with, spending money on the masses’ mobilizing category is more relevant to alleviate the uses of self-vehicles. Clarifying
this
 point, in a civilization where the general citizen is capable of possessing their own transportation, leading to a rising amount of cars on roads traffic jams potentially occur. As an outcome of
this
, evading the prospect of congestion on
such
 mobilizing lanes can be practical by using expenditure on other transport categories, which is relatively more profitable.
This
 is similar in Japan, where the authorities lean towards their expense on the public conveyance system, and it is considered pivotal
due to
 the authentical results of mitigating congestion, fewer accidents were recorded. Another factor worth consideration is the demand for providing a more diverse mass mobilizing system.
In other words
, paying fees on types
such
 as railways or trams can be a lucrative point in affording the needs of the citizens, which is vitally important in addressing the general problems of society.
Consequently
, spending money on
this
 aspect not only benefits citizenship but
also
 contributes to the variety of selections in the public transport system.
This
 is true in Vietnam, the governments are carrying on projects of building metro trains in order to expand its uses for general needs.
To conclude
, it is more important yet beneficial to allocate funds to the masses’ mobilizing category rather than on routes or motorways.
This
 is
due to
 the demand to avoid the constant approaches on common roads and afford the need for providing more varieties of transit.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your main points directly address the prompt throughout the essay. The introduction suggests a focus on reducing autonomous vehicle use and providing diverse transport options, but the subsequent paragraphs could link back more clearly to these points.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Each point should be fully explained and supported by relevant examples. For instance, the discussion on Japan's public transport success could include more specific details.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear topic sentences and well-structured paragraphs to improve logical flow. Some transitions between ideas or paragraphs could be smoother to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the main argument and the conclusion neatly summarizes the essay’s stance.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as those of Japan and Vietnam, to support its points, which strengthens the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • economic efficiency
  • transport of goods and services
  • infrastructure
  • accidents
  • environmental impact
  • individual vehicles
  • affordable and accessible transportation
  • construction and maintenance
  • stimulate the economy
  • sustainable
  • urban development
  • urban sprawl
  • higher-density
  • public transport systems
  • motorways
  • railways
  • trams
What to do next:
Look at other essays: