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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
#modes #transport #travel #work #european #city
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The bar chart provides information on the popularity of four different modes of
transportation
Use synonyms
 in one
European
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city
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 in three separate years(1960, 1980, and 2000). Obviously,
although
Linking Words
people
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 in 1960 used
buses
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 the most, the preference turned to
cars
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 in 2000. Looking at the data
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1960,
people
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 in the
European
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city
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 used
buses
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 as the most common mode of
transportation
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. Approximately 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 commuted to work by
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buses
Fix the agreement mistake
bus
show examples
 in that year. Following trains and tubes with around 25
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of commuters, less than 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 in the
European
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city
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travelled
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
 to and from work by
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cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
. Turning to the data
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000,
cars
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 have become the main
modes
Fix the agreement mistake
mode
show examples
 of
transportation
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 during the decades. About 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 in the
European
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city
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 mainly used
cars
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 in that year.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, as time goes by, the popularity of
buses
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 declined to fifteen
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of commuters during the period. Interestingly, Trains and tubes are still made use of stably, regardless of the change between
cars
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 and
buses
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the main modes of
transportation
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 have changed from
buses
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 to
cars
Use synonyms
 during the forty years and used subways constantly.
Submitted by ka.ki.ku.ke.kohei0827 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, european, city, people, buses, cars, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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