IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a possitive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #possitive #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many nations around the world, the population in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 is declining, it is because
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to urban areas. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
city
Use synonyms
 become dense because of many rural
people
Use synonyms
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 to the
city
Use synonyms
. The more
people
Use synonyms
 live in the
city
Use synonyms
, the more residential built,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 green land areas are becoming less because it used for housing areas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another negative impact is that there are more and more road users.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
traffic congestion is
inevitable
Change the article
an inevitable
show examples
 problem in the
city
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the negative impact of
aforementioned
Add an article
the aforementioned
show examples
 issue is that economic development in the rural area is decreasing. The reason is that individuals
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 productive ages who should work or
open
Add a missing verb
have open
show examples
 job vacancies
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 to the
city
Use synonyms
;
thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in the
city
Use synonyms
 are only
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 unproductive ages
such
Linking Words
 as children and senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I personally think that there are
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 developments of rural
people
Use synonyms
 moving to the urban area. Those are the density of cities and decreasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic growth in the countryside.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: