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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology gradutes from one university did after finishing their undergradute degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what Anthropology gradutes from one university did after finishing their undergradute degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #gradutes #university #undergradute #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years
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The provided pie chart illustrates the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one
unviersity's
Correct your spelling
university's
university
 Anthropology department student's working status
while
Linking Words
 the table showed the salary ranges of graduate
students
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 five years. In a nutshell, among
others
Add a comma
,others
show examples
 52% of the
students
Use synonyms
 had
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, 15%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 were having
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 work. Surprisingly, 12%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 are doing nothing. 8% of the
students
Use synonyms
 went for their
postgrade
Correct your spelling
postgrad
postgrads
postgraduate
.
Whereas
Linking Words
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 percentage belonged to
those section
Change the determiner
that section
those sections
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 we were unable to know what they did.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
show examples
 5%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 were engaged with
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
simultaneouly
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 busy with their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the table focused on
salary
Add an article
the salary
show examples
 level of the
gradute
Correct your spelling
graduate
students
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 who worked in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 government sector earned
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in the section of $100,00 and above
Linking Words
Change preposition
than then
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 other two sectors. The rate was 50%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 were busy with freelance consultation earned the second highest in
$
Correct article usage
the $
show examples
75000-100000 and above range. The percentage was 40%. In private companies,
Anthropologist
Fix the agreement mistake
Anthropologists
show examples
 earned the third highest which was 35%, in the range of $50000-$99,999.
Submitted by kaynath87 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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