TOPIC 4: It is thought by some that it’s better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Everyone has their own choice of environment living.
While
Linking Words
it is considered by some that
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more comfortable to live in, there are others who believe that
cities
Use synonyms
provide a better quality of
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
cities
Use synonyms
bring so many advantages over the rural area. There are
people
Use synonyms
who argue that living in the countryside has significant health benefits. The lower risk of air pollution is better for
people
Use synonyms
’s health. It is because there are not many industrial zones in
this
Linking Words
area,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
living in rural areas are less likely to suffer from respiratory diseases because of the lack of air pollution.
Also
Linking Words
, mental health is enhanced because of the fresh and peaceful atmosphere.
For example
Linking Words
, many
city
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
choose the countryside as their vacation destination. Others,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, claim that the
city
Use synonyms
offers various kinds of facilities,
such
Linking Words
as shopping malls, universities, cinemas, hospitals and restaurants. So that, it would not be difficult for the
city
Use synonyms
’s residents
in finding
Change preposition
to find
show examples
education centres, food or entertainment.
Besides
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
have the opportunity to find well-paid jobs or a path to personal financial growth in the
city
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the top 100 companies in Forbes are in New York where there is a much larger population,
secondly
Linking Words
, there is good infrastructure,
finally
Linking Words
, in the
cities
Use synonyms
they have many more developed services and technologies. It means that in New York,
people
Use synonyms
are more likely to be able to find the job they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
.
Last
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
city
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
is better.
Cities
Use synonyms
provide better job opportunities and other amenities. Most industries and reputed educational institutions are located in urban areas.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
living in rural areas often have to migrate to
cities
Use synonyms
for higher education or better
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Not only
this
Linking Words
, the complex transportation system connects all the dots around the
city
Use synonyms
to make it easier to commute downtown.
This
Linking Words
helps residents'
city
Use synonyms
save commuting time. In summary,
although
Linking Words
the countryside's
overall
Linking Words
lifestyle is healthier than in the
city
Use synonyms
, rural
life
Use synonyms
ignores too many modern conveniences . Each individual has to decide what they value most but most should choose
city
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction provides an overview of the topic but could be more engaging and could present a clear opinion. The conclusion could be stronger with a clearer opinion and summary of main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, with ideas generally well organized. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the logical flow of ideas and improve coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, but a more precise and varied use of vocabulary could enhance the overall quality of the essay and demonstrate a more nuanced command of language.
grammatical range
The essay displays a good range of complex structures and generally accurate use of grammar. However, occasional errors and lack of sentence variety prevent a higher score in this criterion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: