IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays, many people think that we should decrease the huge gap between the
salaries
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 that have been offered by the various companies in different sectors. I disagree with
this
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 opinion, as if we reduced the difference people would not feel that they have been recognised for their hard
work
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, and many students would choose the easiest pathway to
work
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 rather than studying hard to
work
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. First and foremost, humans always try to improve themselves in their
work
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, as they seek promotion and a good salary. Trying to nearly equalize the
salaries
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 will affect their performance in their
work
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 because they will feel that there is no reason to
work
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 better than the others.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 idea will create a depressed worker
due to
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 a lack of improvement in their
salaries
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 leading them to act like robots doing the same thing to get the same result.
For instance
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, employees who
work
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 in a restaurant owned by members of a family, quit their job as soon as possible because they know that no matter what they do it is hard for their salary or position to be developed.
Secondly
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, Students will study the fastest and simplest pathway that will let them have a job, as there will not be differences in the
salaries
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. In
this
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 way people will not study medicine, engineering and other difficult fields, leading to a number of ignorant in society.
Also
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, the amount of workers in some particular fields will increase more, leading to deficiency in the other fields.
For example
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, if
salaries
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 gap is decreased, many students will prefer to study courses in customer service rather than studying for 4 to 5 years to get a bachelor's degree in accounting or dentistry.
To sum up
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, part of the population believes that reducing the differences in
salaries
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 is considered a privilege, but from my point of view, I think it will affect the communities, as they will not have a salary goal to look for which will affect how they perform in their
work
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 and what their
work
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 preferences.

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clear comprehensive ideas
You should continue to work on making your main ideas throughout the essay more clear and comprehensive. If possible, use more specific examples and evidence to support your positions.
logical structure
It's essential to maintain a logical structure and flow throughout the essay. You are doing well but be mindful of keeping each point connected and making logical transitions between ideas.
complete response
While you cover key points relevant to the prompt, you can enhance task achievement by ensuring complete and thorough responses. Continue to develop your points clearly and provide relevant examples.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion. You successfully present your standpoint in both sections, wrapping up your argument nicely.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph introduces a main idea, elaborates on it, and provides some supporting evidence.
relevant specific examples
Your essay includes relevant points and examples, especially when discussing the effects of salary gaps on employee motivation and career choices.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wage gap
  • economic disparity
  • poverty reduction
  • motivation
  • social stability
  • company loyalty
  • pay structures
  • quality of life
  • equitable access
  • fairness
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