IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some People argue that competitive sports are good for bringing together people from different cultures. Others argue that these sports can cause problems and increase conflicts between nations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #cultures #conflicts #nations
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It is true that some
people
Use synonyms
 think by doing competition of sports have a good impact on gaining
people
Use synonyms
 from
another cultures
Replace the adjective
another culture
other cultures
show examples
, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 argue that
these event
Change the determiner
this event
these events
show examples
 can make issues and rise conflicts with other nations. It seems to me that
exercises
Correct article usage
an exercises
show examples
 tournament can be
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for individuals who join it,
while
Linking Words
 it will be challenging for nations who are not sportive. On the one hand, each culture can meet up together in a place
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 they join the contests of sports and it
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefit for every single person.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
show examples
 can get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other background, especially
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, they can learn about the culture
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their enemy during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
break time.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can
sharing
Change the verb form
share
be sharing
show examples
 about their
history
Change the noun form
histories
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as food, traditional
clothers
Correct your spelling
clothes
, and language.
This
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will
be continue
Change the verb form
continue
show examples
 until their exchange their social media as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
Finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 get more knowledge from others. It
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 useful not only for competitive, but
also
Linking Words
 get a new learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is going to be an impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 participant who does not have
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 of
sportivitas
Correct your spelling
sportives
. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they don't accept their defeat from their rival.
This
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will make a conflict with
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
 that become a bad relationship.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if both of them do not have a good
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 before.
In addition
Linking Words
, when the other event comes, might be a country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
trouble will not join follow for two times.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, candidates
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not have a good connection with other.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not know each other who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the best person that expert in it. Undeniably, it
wil
Correct your spelling
will
be rise
Change the verb form
be risen
be rising
show examples
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conflict between countries just
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the character. In conclusion, in my
viewpoint
Add a comma
,viewpoint
show examples
 there are advantages of it to bring a new moment for each other. Unfortunately, it will be an effect for countries to increase the bad relationship when the games
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not doing bad to one side from
an
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
 country.
Submitted by gabriellasada24 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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