IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

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There are many deaths in poor
countries
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 from diseases that rich
countries
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 can cure with expensive
medicines
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. Some
people
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 think that
this
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 is unfair and that
medicines
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 should be given to poor
countries
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 for a reduced price. I agree with
this
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 statement but
also
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 think that the responsibility is not only for
drug
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companies
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. Nowadays
drug
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companies
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 make very big
money
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 with medicine for treating diseases. The
medicines
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 are very expensive and in rich
countries
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, the government or
health
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 insurance pays for these
medicines
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.
However
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, in poor
countries
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, the government and
people
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 do not have the
money
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 to pay for these
medicines
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. I think that the
drug
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companies
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 should give
medicines
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 at a reduced price. HIV and AIDS are a big problem in African
countries
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 and
drug
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companies
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 recently made medication much cheaper. Because they made medication cheaper lots of
people
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 now do not die.
However
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, I think that it is not only a problem for
drug
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companies
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. I think rich
people
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 and
countries
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 should give
money
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 to poor
countries
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 so they can spend
money
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 on
health
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. In conclusion, I believe that everyone needs good
health
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 and
people
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 should have good
health
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 if
werethey
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were they
 poor or rich. It is not good to only have
medicines
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 for rich
people
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 and poor
people
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 are dying.
This
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 is a big problem in some parts of the world and
drug
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companies
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 are bad to take all of the
money
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 to make sick
people
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's
health
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. Everybody needs medicine and if poor
people
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 can have medicine at a cheaper price
then
Linking Words
this
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 is a good thing.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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