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Band 6.5

IN some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for pepople. Why might this be the case? Do youo think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #pepople #be #case #youo #situation
In numerous nations, it is pivotal for individuals to have their own
house
 rather than
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
 it. The primary factors for the topic are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
security and financial benefits. I believe that
this
 is a positive situation to own a
home
. There are two main reasons why
people
 decided to have their own
home
.
Firstly
, Having their own
home
 means someone
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have to pay a
home
 rent, so they do not
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 allocate their money to
this
.
This
 is beneficial for families where they can allocate their money to other essential goals,
such
 as child education and retirement plan.
Secondly
, security is another factor in possessing a resident.
For example
, there are cases in my country
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 problem arises between tenants and landlords like contract termination in the middle of a rent time, so
people
 force to expel from the
house
. Possessing a resident
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 positive developments.
People
 will work really hard when they have a goal to own a
home
. The reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 the price of
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
 is really expensive,
as a consequence
 individuals should try to earn
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 income to have a
resident
Replace the word
residence
show examples
 quickly.
In addition
, owning a
home
 especially
people
 having more than one
home
 can use their
home
 as a passive income. A
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
 can rent the
house
 to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 for investment, so
people
 earn multiple
income
Change to a plural noun
incomes
show examples
 which is from full-time work and
home
 investing.
To sum up
, owning a
house
 is really important for
people
 rather than renting it. I personally believe that
this
 is a positive
develoment
Correct your spelling
development
 because it brings financial advantages and a sense of security.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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