Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, education has become the most important thing for teenagers and youngsters. There are different types of methods to educate their
students
in this
industry. Some people say that students
should spend more time on facts
, but researchers totally believe that practical skills
are most important to learn. Personally, I completely agree with this
idea, and in this
essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
First of all, university students
do not have enough practical skills
when they graduate, and they spend much time getting the skills
at the beginning of a career. For example
, rookie engineers from level three universities spend one to three years to get enough practical skills
because they do not have good laboratories, and chances of internship according to
the Engineering Institute of Australia in 2023. Moreover
, there is a report from the National Statistics Commission. The report shows that TAPE students
got jobs twenty-five per cent more than the students
who were from another college.
On the other hand
, it is difficult to get better practical skills
without facts
, and students
have to study facts
first. In addition
, there are other groups of professions that students
have to try to study facts
more than practical skills
. For instance
, lawyers or psychologists read books 7 times more than engineers based on ABC News.
In conclusion, the schools should have their own ways of teaching the knowledge for the students
. However
, most bigger companies have announced that practical skills
are more necessary than facts
in the beginning.Submitted by enkhbat0923 on
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Structure
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Clarity
To avoid ambiguity and enhance clarity, consider revising sentences that might seem unclear or overly complex. Simplifying sentence structure where possible can make your argument more accessible.
Cohesion
Incorporating a wider variety of linking words can enhance the flow of your essay, helping the reader to understand the connections between your ideas more clearly.
Development
While you've provided examples, further elaboration on these examples and explicitly linking them back to your main argument would strengthen your position.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, effectively framing your essay's argument and summarizing your viewpoint, which is excellent for reader comprehension.
Balance & Perspective
Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments, which enriches your discussion and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Use of Examples
You have effectively used examples from reputable sources (e.g., Engineering Institute of Australia, National Statistics Commission, ABC News), which strengthens your argument by providing real-world evidence.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.