Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, education has become the most important thing for teenagers and youngsters. There are different types of methods to educate their
students
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in
this
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industry. Some people say that
students
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should spend more time on
facts
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, but researchers totally believe that practical
skills
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are most important to learn. Personally, I completely agree with
this
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idea, and in
this
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essay, I will support my opinion with examples. First of all, university
students
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do not have enough practical
skills
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when they graduate, and they spend much time getting the
skills
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at the beginning of a career.
For example
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, rookie engineers from level three universities spend one to three years to get enough practical
skills
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because they do not have good laboratories, and chances of internship
according to
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the Engineering Institute of Australia in 2023.
Moreover
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, there is a report from the National Statistics Commission. The report shows that TAPE
students
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got jobs twenty-five per cent more than the
students
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who were from another college.
On the other hand
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, it is difficult to get better practical
skills
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without
facts
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, and
students
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have to study
facts
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first.
In addition
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, there are other groups of professions that
students
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have to try to study
facts
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more than practical
skills
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.
For instance
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, lawyers or psychologists read books 7 times more than engineers based on ABC News. In conclusion, the schools should have their own ways of teaching the knowledge for the
students
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.
However
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, most bigger companies have announced that practical
skills
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are more necessary than
facts
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in the beginning.
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on

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Structure
Be mindful of maintaining a consistent structure within paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence to strengthen your points.
Clarity
To avoid ambiguity and enhance clarity, consider revising sentences that might seem unclear or overly complex. Simplifying sentence structure where possible can make your argument more accessible.
Cohesion
Incorporating a wider variety of linking words can enhance the flow of your essay, helping the reader to understand the connections between your ideas more clearly.
Development
While you've provided examples, further elaboration on these examples and explicitly linking them back to your main argument would strengthen your position.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, effectively framing your essay's argument and summarizing your viewpoint, which is excellent for reader comprehension.
Balance & Perspective
Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments, which enriches your discussion and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Use of Examples
You have effectively used examples from reputable sources (e.g., Engineering Institute of Australia, National Statistics Commission, ABC News), which strengthens your argument by providing real-world evidence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
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