IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that the climate of a country has the greatest influence on its culture (e.g. food, arts, music, clothing). Others believe that there are more important influences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #climate #country #influence #culture #e #g #food #arts #music #influences
For thousands of years, humans had to endure the harsh environment to survive in their homeland. Some
people
 believe that the
climate
 is the biggest factor that impacts how
people
 live their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and eventually creates what we know as cultures.
However
, others believed that there are other
factors
 that influence the
culture
, like
history
 and
religion
.
This
 essay will discuss both views and present my opinion on that matter. On the one hand, the
climate
 of a country can have a significant impact on its
culture
 as it is impacting many
factors
 that might ensure the survivability of a species,
such
 as
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of food, shelter, or protection from harsh environments.
For example
,
people
 who live in cold climates might have liked
high calorie
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
show examples
 meals as it provides energy, or thicker outfits to stay warm,
while
people
 in the warmer areas may have developed ways to process watery food and outfits that are made from light materials to stay hydrated.
On the other hand
, there are different
factors
 that might have
also
 contributed to the way
people
 live,
such
 as
history
 or
religion
.
For example
,
history
 can influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
culture
 through the way
people
 communicate
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 different types of languages around the world, or
religion
 that influences how
people
 behave and interact with each other,
thus
 affecting their beliefs and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In my opinion, the
climate
 is one of the most important
factors
 that influences
culture
 as humans have lived for thousands of years and the way they handle the
climate
 in order to survive will ultimately define the
culture
 itself.
However
, we cannot deny that other
factors
 like
history
 or
religion
also
 contribute to diversifying the numbers of existing cultures in the world nowadays.
Submitted by rizalestari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: