IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given flowchart illustrates the steps involved in the production of
milk
Use synonyms
 and other dairy
products
Use synonyms
. Broadly, the process is fairly simple where the work is done mostly by machines with very little human input involved in delivering the final
milk
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 to consumers.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 the cows are left to graze on grass fields, which is their primary source of nutrition.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, milking machines are used twice a day to
milk
Use synonyms
 the cows, and the
milk
Use synonyms
 so collected is refrigerated so that it can be stored to protect it from getting spoiled.
Next,
Linking Words
it is lucid from the chart that a
milk
Use synonyms
 tanker delivers
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
milk
Use synonyms
 to dairy every day. Once the
milk
Use synonyms
 reaches the dairy, a multitude of machines are deployed which
segregates
Correct subject-verb agreement
segregate
show examples
 the raw
milk
Use synonyms
 into two portions, one of which is utilized to manufacture
milk
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
, which are cheese, cream and butter. The remaining quantity of
milk
Use synonyms
 is pasteurized and packed into containers. These final
products
Use synonyms
 are
then
Linking Words
 taken to supermarkets and shops from where the customers can pick them up from the shelves.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, products with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: