Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people pf different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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Music
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today is considered to gather
people
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from different countries and ages together. In my view, I totally agree that
music
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is a connection between
people
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from other backgrounds in the
world
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.
This
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essay will outline that
music
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gets
people
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who have the same taste and personality.
Moreover
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, it
also
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promotes their cultures to
people
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all around the
world
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. Regarding
people
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's view,
music
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is believed to be a means to strike up friendships between
people
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in other nations. Through
music
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, they can find
people
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who have the same kind of
music
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or hobby as them and make friends regardless of the difference in generation.
Furthermore
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,
music
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can be the power for
people
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to overcome difficulties and it is a part of our lives.
For example
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, a song
name
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named
show examples
"
see tinh
Correct your spelling
See Tinh
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" by a singer in Vietnam
become
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became
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famous worldwide and everybody in the
world
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react positively to
this
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song.
Music
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is
also
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a good way to let
people
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in the
world
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know about their traditions. When the song is being performed,
people
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in another country will have a chance to explore your country's customs, even your national language become famous and well-known by
people
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around the
world
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.
In addition
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, singers in one country can cooperate with others in different countries to make an explosion in
music
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billboards.
For instance
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, a famous concert called "Born Pink" has been performed all over the
world
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which
attract
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attracted
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huge fans. In conclusion,
music
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today plays a vital role in our life and it has done its mission very well that it is the means to connect
people
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with the same passion together.
Submitted by phantung1306 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing how music brings people from different cultures and ages together. Make sure to support your points with more specific examples and elaborate on the connections between music and cultural exchange.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but consider expanding on the introduction to provide a clearer preview of the main points. Improve cohesion by using transitions to connect ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.
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