Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people pf different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #music #pf #cultures #ages

Music

today is considered to gather

people

from different countries and ages together. In my view, I totally agree that

music

is a connection between

people

from other backgrounds in the

world

This

essay will outline that

music

gets

people

who have the same taste and personality.

Moreover

, it

also

promotes their cultures to

people

all around the

world

. Regarding

people

's view,

music

is believed to be a means to strike up friendships between

people

in other nations. Through

music

, they can find

people

who have the same kind of

music

or hobby as them and make friends regardless of the difference in generation.

Furthermore

music

can be the power for

people

to overcome difficulties and it is a part of our lives.

For example

, a song

name

Replace the word

named

show examples

see tinh

Correct your spelling

See Tinh

show examples

" by a singer in Vietnam

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

famous worldwide and everybody in the

world

react positively to

this

song.

Music

also

a good way to let

people

in the

world

know about their traditions. When the song is being performed,

people

in another country will have a chance to explore your country's customs, even your national language become famous and well-known by

people

around the

world

In addition

, singers in one country can cooperate with others in different countries to make an explosion in

music

billboards.

For instance

, a famous concert called "Born Pink" has been performed all over the

world

which

attract

Wrong verb form

attracted

show examples

huge fans. In conclusion,

music

today plays a vital role in our life and it has done its mission very well that it is the means to connect

people

with the same passion together.

Submitted by phantung1306 on Mon Jul 03 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing how music brings people from different cultures and ages together. Make sure to support your points with more specific examples and elaborate on the connections between music and cultural exchange.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but consider expanding on the introduction to provide a clearer preview of the main points. Improve cohesion by using transitions to connect ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people pf different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Shopping is now one of the most famous forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What is the reason? Is it positive or negative?