IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities
It is a broadly accepted proposition that every
company
 is liable to promote sports and offer social requirements to the locality
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which it
show examples
 is operating. I think it is a core perspective that will benefit both the
company
 and the local community as well. I shall be describing
this
 point of view in the following paragraphs. From the point of view of a beneficiary, when
such
 provisions can be availed at the doorsteps, it becomes far more than a mere help. To state precisely, there are plenty of youngsters in society who are inclined toward the stream of sports but come from a financially restricted background;
hence
, they don’t see a lot of opportunities. These buds can revive their passion if they find sponsors.
Similarly
 to
this
, a lot of local inhabitants are affluent when they are facilitated with cost-friendly or free commuting, comfort stations, and bus shelters. From the point of view of a facilitator, a significant advantage will be to enhance the goodwill and advert promotions. To put it in simple words, when an organization offers services to the local community, it upholds the banner and becomes a socially responsible
company
.
This
 will help them acquire the trust of the localities and get visible support for future endeavours.
Similarly
, by providing
such
 efficacious services, they grab an adequate method to reach more people through exhibited adverts.
However
, it must be understood that
such
 provisions can be rendered only when the
company
 has
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
financial stability itself.
To conclude
this
 essay, if a
company
 is taking the initiative to either sponsor a sports activity or offer social facilities to local people, it must be wholeheartedly welcomed as it can benefit both parties.
Submitted by panetariyaragini78 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt by discussing the benefits of companies providing sport and social facilities for local communities. The points are well-developed and supported throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets up the discussion well by presenting the author's viewpoint and the main reasons behind it. The body paragraphs effectively support the main points with relevant examples and explanations. A more explicit conclusion summarizing the key points could strengthen the coherence further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community well-being
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • healthcare costs
  • public image
  • customer loyalty
  • economic growth
  • community relations
  • job satisfaction
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stimulate local economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: