IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

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While
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 some believe that children should use their spare
time
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 in
team
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activities
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, others think that they must learn how to spend
this
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time
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 alone. In my opinion, parents should motivate offspring to work on their own because though spending spare
time
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 in
group
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activities
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 can teach youngsters some practical social skills, being on their own can help them follow their instincts freely and pursue their interests. In their free
time
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, toddlers should engage in
group
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 projects since it helps them integrate into society and acquire various life skills.
This
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 involvement might take the shape of
team
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 sports,
group
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 projects, or artistic endeavours.
For instance
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, during athletics, students are split up into several groups that compete against and support one another at the same
time
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. These
group
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 inclusions cultivate in young brains a feeling of social connection and
communication
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. In reality, youngsters may only benefit from friendship and
communication
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 abilities when they are exposed to various cooperative
activities
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.
According to
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 several studies, working as a
team
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 teaches kids important practical skills like discipline and
communication
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, which eventually enable them to succeed in both their personal and professional lives.
However
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, individual
activities
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 have a profound impact on personal development because staying alone would give adolescent an edge in terms of their freedom of thought and work.
For instance
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, they can get involved in solo co-curricular
activities
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 like creative computer games that assist the kid with some effective brain culture and concentration practice.
Furthermore
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, getting
along with
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 a
team
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 demands a specific timing with the other
team
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 members, which is not the case when they spend their
time
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 alone because different teenagers have different spare
time
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 schedules.
In addition
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, youth’s productivity and health issues are directly related to the way they spend their leisure, and they enjoy
this
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time
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 most if they can pass it exactly the way they want.
In other words
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, being solo in their spare
time
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 leads a child to gain distinct aptitude since their individual hobbies lack any adult authority that may suppress their innate abilities. In conclusion, even though working in groups can teach infants valuable lessons about teamwork and
communication
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, I still believe that letting kids work alone on their hobbies allows them to do the things they enjoy doing the most, and
this
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 freedom of thought and
activities
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 helps them maintain top health and exceptional talent.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more explicitly linked to the essay question and clearly state your position.
supported main points
Support main points with clear and specific examples, and avoid overgeneralizations.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas in every paragraph to fully satisfy the task requirements.
logical structure
Work on creating better logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve readability and the overall flow of ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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