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Writing Samples
Band 6

The given table illustrates how much money secondary/high school educators earned in 5 countries in 2009.

The given table illustrates how much money secondary/high school educators earned in 5 countries in 2009.
#money #school #educators #countries
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The given table illustrates how much money secondary/high
school
Use synonyms
 educators earned in 5 countries in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that middle/high
school
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teachers
Use synonyms
 in
Luxembourg
Use synonyms
 had the highest income
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for Australia.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Denmark’s instructors had the fastest time to earn the maximum salaries. Middle and high
school
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
 in
Luxembourg
Use synonyms
 received 80000 for the first year
whereas
Linking Words
 their Korean
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
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 just got 28000 in the starting time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, educators with 15
years
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 experience in
Luxembourg
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 could make the highest of 119000
while
Linking Words
 Japanese and Korean
teachers
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 having taught for 15
years
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 just earned 86000 and 62000, respectively. Instructors in Denmark and Australia just needed less than 10
years
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 to get the highest salaries with 54000 and 48000, respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
school
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teachers
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 in other countries had to work at least 30
years
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 but their maximum income was significantly higher with
Luxembourg
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 still the
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
show examples
 at 132000
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, teachers, luxembourg, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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