In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or nrgative development?

Advertisement's content is frequently changing nowadays in order to expand the businesses, which reflects on a consumer perception, as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it gives the clue about the product being newly designed. In my opinion, it is a positive development for which reasons are articulated in the upcoming paragraphs. The prime reason to take it in a positive aspect is, the business models run on customer satisfaction, in which the companies take into consideration of customer's comfort and flexibility as their first priority. Organisation notices all requirements of consumers and works
accordingly
Linking Words
on the fulfilment of a product. It is explicitly observed that car companies do
this
Linking Words
type of act, putting the type of fuel like gasoline, diesel, compressed natural gas and electric on each segment, providing more freedom to own a car.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to reach out the products towards their customers, business owners add more attention to the promotion of new products on a category basis. On
this
Linking Words
account, the buyers get persuaded to purchase a newly launched item.
For instance
Linking Words
, the candy company - Kinderjoy, has underlined the issue, that children were not able to get useful toys
such
Linking Words
as kids were getting the contradictory toys,
as a result
Linking Words
, they focused on integrating kids' toys on a gender basis by advertising and changing the packaging quality.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are several benefits of advertising the advertisement of latest products not only for the business holder but
also
Linking Words
for the individuals who are using it, as it does not hold any drawbacks for providing choices.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your introduction is good, but aim to clearly state your main ideas in one sentence. This will help set the reader's expectations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sentences are long and may confuse the reader. Try to use shorter sentences for clarity. This will improve your coherence.
Task Achievement
Include more examples to support your points. This could make your argument stronger and show your understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You clearly stated your opinion about the development being positive, which is good for the essay's focus.
Task Achievement
Your second body paragraph provides a relevant example of Kinderjoy, which adds strength to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • novelty
  • differentiation
  • consumer demand
  • innovation
  • competitive advantage
  • impulse buying
  • disposability
  • environmental impact
  • progressiveness
  • brand image
  • modernization
  • trendy lifestyle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: