Some children spend hours everyday on their smatphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays
smatphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
is a very popular gadget, almost everyone
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
a daily
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
. Many
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
waist
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
plenty
Change to a plural noun
plenties
show examples
of
time
on their screens,
oftenlly
Correct your spelling
often
watching short videos, which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in numerous severe problems and
that is
the reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe excessive phone usage is
absulutelly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
a negative development. It is a fact that the amount of
time
spent on
phones
has increased sharply
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
decades. Not
olny
Correct your spelling
only
adults, but
also
children
spend a large part of their day on smartphones.
That is
mostly
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
they have nothing else to do. If
children
are not
engaded
Correct your spelling
engaged
in beneficial activities like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
or art, they will mostly search
another
Change preposition
for another
show examples
source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
enterainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
to spend their energy on and to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their needs
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
amusment
Correct your spelling
amusement
. Another reason is that many parents have no
time
and
patiance
Correct your spelling
patience
for their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
, so they try to keep them busy with mobile
phones
or tablets in order to get extra
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for what they think is more important. That
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
to an increase in the length of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spent
time
on
phones
. It cannot be denied that the consequences of that behaviour are very serious. Spending many hours on
phones
can lead to several mental and physical maladies. It is scientifically proven that watching short videos for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
period of
time
will harm the
child
Change the noun
child's
show examples
brain,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
it makes their thinking superficial which in turn lead to a lower IQ.
Children
will
also
tend to have no social interaction
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
unless the spent
time
on screens is limited.
Thus
, I profoundly believe that
this
development is
negtaive
Correct your spelling
negative
. In sum, excessive Phone utilization
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
children
has many reasons,
such
as lack of
parential
Correct your spelling
parental
attention.
This
may lead to many negative effects, namely,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poor health. To my way of thinking
this
is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad behaviour that should be limited
Submitted by shahryar.kazerooni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: