Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #countries #adults #governments #money

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It is argued that

governments

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should prioritize eliminating illiteracy among adults

instead

Linking Words

of focusing solely on educating young people. I completely agree with

this

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statement and believe that investing in programs to improve

adult

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literacy

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can increase feelings of inclusion and optimize national finances. One of the primary benefits of

adult

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literacy

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education

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is its ability to help illiterate adults integrate into society. Without basic reading and writing skills, people may struggle to access necessary information in their daily lives.

For example

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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many immigrants were unable to receive free vaccines provided by the government because they could not understand announcements published by national institutions.

This

Linking Words

resulted in a higher infection rate among these individuals which even threatened their lives.

However

Linking Words

, if they had basic

literacy

Use synonyms

skills, they could have obtained better protection, thereby increasing their sense of belonging in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society. Another reason why

governments

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should prioritize

adult

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literacy

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education

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over young student

education

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is its potential to benefit economic development. Adults are often the main contributors to the local economy, yet illiterate people may have difficulty

to find

Change the verb form

finding

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employment and

make

Wrong verb form

making

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financial contributions. By investing more in

adult

Use synonyms

literacy

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programs,

governments

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can increase employability and tax revenue

while

Linking Words

reducing the costs associated with supporting the unemployed.

For example

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, after the

literacy

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campaign launched by the Chinese government in 1951, the employability rate in China increased to over 70%, and its gross domestic production saw significant improvement. In conclusion, I believe that prioritizing

adult

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literacy

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education

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is worth

to be paid

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

attention

Change preposition

to by

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

. By investing in programs to improve

adult

Use synonyms

literacy

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governments

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can increase feelings of inclusion, improve economic outcomes, and optimize national finances.

Submitted by wujita1212 on Mon Jul 03 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

Consider rearranging some sentences or using connective words to improve the logical flow of ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to provide more precise and varied expressions.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve fluency.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

literacy programs
functional illiteracy
social mobility
inter-generational poverty
workforce development
economic growth
social cohesion
public health
civic participation
resource allocation
national development

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Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates.Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that teachers require training to become good at their profession. Others think a good teacher has all the necessary qualities and does not need any training. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.