In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.
The vast majority of crowds face an increase in lifespan all over the world.
While
it is argued that this
trend may demonstrate some beneficial points including promoting efficient experiences and also
, developing some industries, I think, the drawbacks overshadow them.
On the one hand, undoubtedly, the longer people
live, the more experiences they will gain; as a result
, elderly people
appear to have a plethora of information and practical experiences which can be used in several aspects ranging from what is needed for living in a society
or even in the upbringing of their grandchildren. Furthermore
, when society
goes for increased longevity, a great demand for organisations which help to care for and pay attention to them, will grow day by day. This
tends to mean creating new jobs.
On the other hand
, the older the public gets, the less dynamic the society
will become. Youngsters are often more energetic and help to maintain the public being alive and as a result
, a dramatic improvement would occur in that society
. Since youngsters try to be more up to date and also
, using the
state-of-the-art technologies Correct article usage
apply
are
far easier for young Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
compared to elderly ones. For example
, using AI for daily activities or online shopping. Furthermore
, the government should allocate more budget for pensioners and this
may be utterly costly. Moreover
, I think, the worst negative point is about health care services. Old people
seem to be ill more than young ones and also
, the proportion of being hospitalised and getting chronic diseases are significantly higher than youngsters. This
triggers a large-scale budget and also
, many hospitals appear to be occupied with elderly people
and there is
a few vacancies for sick young Change the verb form
are
people
.
All being said, the phenomenon of increasing lifespan in the majority of associations all around the world happens. Although
it is argued that this
issue may have beneficial points, I wholeheartedly believe that the negative points overshadow the positive ones.Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion on the topic, but it would benefit from better explanation and development of ideas. Ensure every point is fully expanded upon with clear examples and reasoning.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, there are some areas where the flow between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more transition words and phrases to link your ideas better and create a more cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument. This helps to create a strong overall structure for your essay.
task achievement
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of increasing life expectancy, providing a balanced view which is crucial for the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.