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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transports system. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transports system. To what extend do you agree?
#people #money #roads #motorways #transports #system
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It is argued that money should be spent on the construction of roadways rather than on buses, trains or underground. I believe that both road and public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 have a vital role in the development of a nation .
Thus
Linking Words
, it should be equally invested in. In the essay below, I will discuss my opinion in detail
To begin
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 with, public transport helps reduce pollution. In fact, by switching from personal vehicles to underground or buses, the number of cars operating on roads
declines
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 significantly.
This
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 leads to a decrease in the number of emissions into the atmosphere and
then
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 improves air quality.
Furthermore
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, buses and subways are great choices for people who do not have private vehicles
such
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 as motorbikes or cars.
For instance
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, many large European cities
such
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 as Paris or London have extremely complete public transportation systems, which help them to limit the number of personal vehicles on the traffic network.
In addition
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, one of the major benefits of advanced roadways is less shipment congestion and accidents. There are fewer chances of accidents if the roads are wide and smooth and
also
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 the traffic flows gradually even in rush hours.
For example
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, in Vietnam, if all the pathways were enlarged, there would be better passage of traffic and more safety for all residents who are participating in driving. To recapitulate, advanced commuting means and roadways are the essentials of a country and both are equally crucial to ease travelling.I believe that money should be well spent on not only roads but
also
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 public transport systems in order for users to achieve the best effect.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task response
Your essay discusses both sides of the argument effectively, but remember to clearly state your personal opinion in the introduction. The conclusion should also clearly summarize your position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well organized, but it would benefit from more explicit use of cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs and across the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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