playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievements for any child. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Acquiring Knowledge of playing a musical instrument, as if each child attains a significant goal. I feel that the statement is not true and I will explain in my essay now.

Firstly

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, in today's educational curriculum, there are many areas of knowledge which were established

according to

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the need of humans through centuries. A standard society needs scientists, economists and legislators and

also

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artists to perform

accordingly

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. By focusing on achievement in one area, the others may be lacking,

for example

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in the recent pandemic, we have witnessed a dire in psychological and economic aspects of people's lives around the world. It is important to ask

this

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question, what would happen If scientists didn't discover vaccines and cures for

such

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turmoil

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show examples

Furthermore

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, not all students have the same ability and talent to achieve goals like

this

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. There are many pupils who can perform significantly in other subjects like math and science and

also

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other forms of art like painting. praising those who can play a musical instrument would discourage others to perform well in the areas in which they are interested. I do understand that many parents consider

this

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as a means by which they can secure their children's mental health, which is good. but I feel that in some cases they may seek a higher social status for themselves as well. In conclusion, playing a musical instrument is interesting but I still believe that there are more important areas in which students should feel fulfilled and be encouraged .

Submitted by afrarahimi1212 on Tue Jul 04 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievements for any child. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestions on the road. hat are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays some people post offensive or uncomfortable things on social media. Do you think social companies should do somethings to prevent this? what do you think people should not be allowed to post on social media?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development