Many young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects both on society and young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #effects #society

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It is true that shopping

malls

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are gaining in popularity among young

people

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these days. Some,

however

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, argue that

this

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trend will harm these

people

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and ultimately, our society. I agree with

this

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assertion to a large extent even though I believe that

such

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a trend has its own upsides. To start, it is important to recognize how young

people

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’s proclivity towards shopping at

malls

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can be advantageous. Most young

people

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go shopping after school or at the weekends to take a break from their daily routine. Their study schedule can sometimes be hectic, leaving little room for entertainment, and shopping can provide them with a necessary escape.

This

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also

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ideal for business owners as it can boost their sales once their products get seen by more customers. Even if businesses do not make much revenue from sales to teenagers, their brand and, by extension, their products, will receive more recognition seeing as it is common among young

people

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to talk about what they see on sale. Few marketing strategies are as effective as word of mouth. That said, I share the view that the rising popularity of shopping among young

people

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is a rather undesirable development. First of all, too much time spent at shopping

malls

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can make one materialistic, and young

people

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are no exception.

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, a teenager or a child surrounded by a wide array of tempting products cannot help but wonder if he or she can have it all one day.

This

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desire will eventually turn into an obsession - to own as many things as possible. It is even more so when they see other

people

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afford those things, but they cannot. Eventually,

this

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feeling will give way to materialism, which is measuring everything in monetary terms. The most profound effect of it, on a societal level, would be the creation of a culture of

people

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driven by materialism, which is a modern scourge seen in developed nations like the USA. In conclusion,

while

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some benefits can be attributed to the growing popularity of shopping

malls

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among young

people

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, I believe the harmful effects both on youngsters and society are more pronounced.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Tue Jul 04 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

materialistic attitudes
excessive consumerism
sedentary lifestyles
peer pressure
financial irresponsibility
meaningful social relationships
family bonding
environmental degradation
commercial environments
productive activities

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Many young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects both on society and young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the Advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are least 18 years old. to what extent do you agrre or disagree?

Many museums and historic sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than by local residents. What are the causes of this? What can be done for museums and historic sites to attract more local visitors?

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extend do you agree or disagree?